


Unlocking the Heart

by goldenwanderer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chamber of Secrets, F/M, Post - Order of the Phoenix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwanderer/pseuds/goldenwanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a visit to St. Mungo's, Remus unknowingly pays a visit to Gilderoy Lockhart, prompting both him and Tonks to recall the day they first met - the day that Lockhart signed books in Flourish and Blotts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unlocking the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written in October, 2008, for a challenge at the Livejournal community, MetamorFic_Moon. It was primarily inspired by the following prompts: Day of Decadence, Flourish and Blotts.

**dec·a·dent \ˈde-kə-dənt\ adjective**   
_-moral degeneration or decay; turpitude  
-unrestrained or excessive self-indulgence_

* * *

“I’d let her rest if I were you, Lupin.”

It takes Remus’s brain a moment to register that someone is speaking to him. He looks up into the tired but determined face of Alastor Moody, whose natural eye is fixed on Remus. Moody’s magical eye, surprisingly, is not turning every which way, but is fixed on Nymphadora Tonks, who is fast asleep in her hospital bed.

“What?” Remus shakes his head slightly and rubs his forehead with his right hand, realizing how close to sleep he had been before Mad-Eye’s interruption.

“Let her sleep,” says Mad-Eye. “She needs it.”

He’s right, of course. The Healers say that rest is really all Tonks needs now. And she certainly gets plenty of it, as far as Remus can see. Since waking up yesterday afternoon, she has done little else.

“Of course,” says Remus.

Mad-Eye does not look convinced. He studies Remus for a moment. “Looks like you need some rest too, Lupin – maybe as much as she does.” He takes a step forward, his one good eye focusing more intently on Remus. “Come to think of it,” he says, “I haven’t seen you leave this hospital for more than four or five hours at a time. Tonks isn’t the only one who needs sleep, you know.”

Remus does know, but he refuses to acknowledge it. It isn’t the first time he has gone without much sleep. He has had plenty of sleepless nights, many of them resulting in states of weariness much more severe than this.

“I’ll be all right,” he says. But unfortunately, immediately after saying it, a large yawn betrays him. Mad-Eye gives him a significant look – an ‘I told you so’ look. “All right,” Remus says reluctantly. “Just a few more minutes with her.”

Mad-Eye doesn’t look convinced, but he just shakes his head. “Night, Lupin,” is all he says.

“Good-night, Mad-Eye,” says Remus. “Sleep well.”

The ex-Auror grunts, but turns and walks away, leaving Remus still sitting next to Tonks’s bedside. Remus waits until Mad-Eye disappears before turning back to look at the bed.

“Sorry,” he whispers to Tonks, though he isn’t precisely sure why. Maybe the sorry is for Mad-Eye’s constant annoyance. Maybe the sorry is for nearly falling asleep while he is supposed to be sitting by her. And maybe the sorry was for letting her get herself into this mess in the first place.

He doesn’t like her like this. Of course, it was worse before she had woken up for the first time since the battle at the Ministry. But even so, this stillness is as close to unconscious as she can get without actually being unconscious. And he doesn’t like it. She doesn’t look like Tonks. Tonks is supposed to be bright and bouncy, sporting her favorite shade of pink hair. She isn’t supposed to be so still and weak, with her own natural mousy brown hair – her _least_ favorite shade – falling around her too-calm face.

“Actually, that color suits you,” he whispers. If she was awake enough to hear him, she would probably think him crazy, but he doesn’t care. He knows she doesn’t like her brown hair any more than she likes her name. But he’s told her before that he thinks both are beautiful, and he will tell her again and again, whether she ever comes to agree with him or not.

After a minute or two, Remus looks around the room again. The only other people in the room at the moment are the other sleeping patients. A Healer or two will likely come in soon to check on the patients – and, more than likely, shoo Remus from Tonks’s bedside for a while.

With that thought in mind, Remus forces himself to stand up. But he keeps his eyes focused on Tonks. “I’m going to take a walk,” he tells her, keeping his voice quiet. “I will come back soon.”

She doesn’t respond, but he didn’t expect her to. It takes a great deal of willpower for Remus to turn and walk away from the motionless woman in the hospital bed. But he keeps walking. _I promised Mad-Eye I would only spend a few minutes more with her. I said nothing about leaving the hospital_.

This isn’t the first time he has taken a walk through St. Mungo’s while Tonks is sleeping. He has visited nearly every floor by now, in fact. He visits the first floor – “CREATURE-INDUCED INJURIES” – most often. The man he met at Christmastime – the one who had just become a werewolf – is no longer staying at the hospital, but he has met another during Tonks’s stay here. This particular man seems a bit more open to Remus’s thoughts than the last, but like any newly-turned werewolf, his outlook on life is bleak, to say the least.

Tonight, he doesn’t take the stairs. Instead, still feeling quite tired, he decides to wander around the fourth floor, where victims of spell damage are hospitalized. This floor, of course, is where Tonks has been since the battle, since she was injured because of a spell. _Injured because of me_ , Remus thinks, not for the first time. They all tell him that it wasn’t his fault, and he is sure that Tonks would say the same thing if she was awake. But that doesn’t stop him from thinking and believing it just the same.

As if on cue, Remus’s mind flashes back to images of the battle and its preceding events. He vividly recalls urging Tonks to stay behind, then receiving the hardest slap he has ever received. Without thinking, his right hand moves up to rub his cheek, where her hand left a mark.

And despite his arguments, she came to the battle anyway. And look where she ended up. _She’s in a hospital bed because of me_ , thinks Remus. I could have stopped her – I should have. But another voice in his head, the one he thinks partially belongs to Tonks, tells him otherwise: _You couldn’t have stopped her. Since when have you been able to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do?_ And Remus knows that this voice is right. But he can’t shut out the voice that belongs entirely to himself.

“Why hello there!” says a very cheerful voice, startling Remus and causing him to turn around faster than he should have been able to in his current worn-out state. The voice came from a golden-haired man with a very large grin spreading across his face. It takes Remus a moment to recognize the man: Gilderoy Lockhart, the once-famous writer, and his predecessor in the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts.

“Hello,” Remus says carefully, still a bit stunned by the Lockhart’s appearance. He should say something more than just “hello,” but he cannot think of a single thing to say. What’s he doing out here at this time of night?

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” asks Lockhart, still smiling as brightly as ever. “Well, that is, I suppose it is. They haven’t let me look out a window – something about there not being any windows in this place – but I imagine it must be beautiful outside.” He continues smiling for a moment, then examines Remus more closely for the first time. “I’m sorry, old chap – you’ll have to forgive me – but who are you?”

It takes Remus a moment to register the question, given the overwhelming amount of words Lockhart has just spoken. “Oh, sorry,” he says. “My name is Remus Lupin.” He holds out his hand, but doesn’t expect a handshake in return. After all, most of the wizards and witches in Britain know his name, and thereby, his condition.

But to his surprise, Lockhart takes his hand and shakes it vigorously. “Gilderoy Lockhart,” he says with another smile. “A pleasure to meet you. That is, if I really am meeting you. Have we met before?”

Remus doesn’t understand at first. But a moment later, he remembers the reason Gilderoy Lockhart left the teaching profession in the first place – other than the fact that he turned out to be a fraud.

“No, we haven’t met,” says Remus. Then, feeling that he should be a bit more polite than that, he adds, “And it’s a pleasure to meet you, as well.”

If it is possible, Lockhart’s smile widens. “I love meeting new people,” he says. “Of course, nearly everyone is new to me. Sometimes they say they’ve met me before, but I can’t remember a soul until they’ve reintroduced themselves to me. Terribly inconvenient, really.”

“I would imagine,” says Remus, unsure of what he can say. Truthfully, he isn’t certain he wants to spend much time with Lockhart. If the man is still in the hospital, he can’t be very stable yet. “Listen, Gilderoy, do the Healers know that you’re out here?”

Lockhart looks puzzled for a moment. Then his smile returns. “Oh, silly Remus, of course not. Why, they’d tell me to return to my bed if they knew. They don’t like it very much when I wander around. But it’s so frightfully boring back there. I don’t want them to know, silly Remus.”

But Remus doesn’t think it’s a very good idea to have Lockhart wandering around out here by himself any more than the Healers do. “Listen, Gilderoy…”

But he is saved from having to say anything more. A door opens, followed by a voice. “Oh, there you are, Gilderoy!” A lime-robed Healer darts forward and seizes Lockhart’s arm. “You shouldn’t be out wandering like this! You know it’s not good for you!”

“But look, I made a friend!” argues Lockhart. “This is Silly Remus!” He points to the still-tired and slightly-stunned Remus standing next to him. “He’s very nice, actually, but quite silly.”

The Healer nods in Remus’s direction to acknowledge his presence, and Remus nods back, but the Healer doesn’t have time for Remus. “That’s nice, Gilderoy. Now, back to bed we go!”

“Do we have to?” Lockhart whines, reminding Remus of a three-year-old child being told that he needs to have a bath or go to bed.

“Yes,” the Healer says, and she begins to lead Lockhart away. “And if you’re good, I’ll give you something special with your breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“Hooray!” says Lockhart. “But do we have to go to bed?”

Remus doesn’t bother listening to the rest of the conversation as the Healer leads Lockhart away. Instead, he turns away and walks back down the corridor. Yawning, he decides he really does need some sleep, and he begins moving toward the room where Tonks is staying.

But suddenly, Remus’s mind is filled with images again. But this time, for the first time since before the battle, the images aren’t of the battle and the events leading up to it. No, this time, he sees something different. Something that, surprisingly enough, is prompted by a most unexpected source – Gilderoy Lockhart.

* * *

“What’s going on?” asked Remus, still holding the book he had been trying to read before the commotion started.

The assistant shopkeeper rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Book signing,” he said in a flat voice. “Didn’t you see the sign?” He motioned his head toward the door and continued his sweeping.

Remus thought for a minute. Come to think of it, he had seen a sign on the door about a book signing. But he had dismissed it. After all, he had never heard of the author before, so he couldn’t be very popular.

The assistant must have taken Remus’s silence as a ‘no,’ because he went on to explain. “Gilderoy Lockhart,” he said, with a hint of exasperation in his voice. “Really popular these days, especially with witches.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

The assistant stopped sweeping and turned to look at Remus. “What, you haven’t heard of him? Where have you been?”

“Apparently not any place where I might have heard of him,” said Remus.

The assistant, who a moment ago had been showing signs of dislike for this Lockhart fellow, suddenly looked dumbfounded. “He’s written a whole series of books,” he said. “Talks about all these amazing things he’s done. I mean, they say he’s fought vampires and defeated werewolves, even.”

Remus’s eyebrow went even higher. “Werewolves? Really?” That was a laugh.

“Oh yeah,” said the assistant. But then his face changed again, going back to the exasperated look he had worn earlier. “But that’s not why he’s popular with the ladies. I can’t see it myself, of course, but they all think he’s gorgeous – something about his smile. You ever read _Witch Weekly_? Well, I don’t, but my girlfriend does, and she says he’s won their best smile award – or something like that – five times in a row.”

“I see,” said Remus. Well, that explained why he hadn’t heard of the man. Any author who made it onto the cover of Witch Weekly for having a charming smile wasn’t likely to have written books that Remus would be the slightest bit interested in. _Especially if he thinks he’s fought werewolves_ , thought Remus. The very idea made him chuckle out loud.

“Oh dear, here they come,” said the assistant suddenly. “Er – it’s been nice talking to you, sir, but I’ve got to go. Feel free to let me know if you need any help.” With that last statement, he had set aside his broom and was quickly hurrying toward the door. “Ladies, please! No pushing! Ladies, please!”

Remus chuckled again, then turned back to the pages of his book. He decided he had better retreat to another corner of the shop – one that wouldn’t be crowded with middle-aged witches.

But even for Remus – who had experience dealing with multiple distractions while reading, namely James Potter and Sirius Black – it was difficult to concentrate on reading while dozens of chattering, excited, anxious witches filled the shop. He didn’t think he had ever seen Flourish and Blotts so crowded before in his life. And the poor assistant didn’t look very pleased about it.

“Calmly, please ladies… don’t push there… mind the books now…” said the man as he monitored the comings and goings of the women. Remus was surprised to see several young males walking through the door – no doubt coming with their mothers to see Lockhart. He was certainly glad he wasn’t one of them.

He watched for a while as more and more people flooded in through the door. Most were middle-aged witches, though there were some younger women as well. But there was one young woman that caught Remus by surprise, owing to her vivid blue hair. The moment she entered the shop, Remus found himself staring at her. He could hardly help it. He was sure he wasn’t the only man in the world that would stare if confronted with a blue-haired woman.

It took him a moment to get past the blue hair to look at the woman herself. In truth, she was a very pretty young woman. Her face was heart-shaped, and she had beautiful dark eyes. Remus wasn’t sure the blue hair looked very good alongside the dark eyes, but he was very sure she probably didn’t care much about that. Perhaps she was mimicking one of those young Muggle “punks” that seemed to be everywhere these days. But then again, why would any witch want to mimic a Muggle? Not that Remus was against Muggles, not in the least, but he could not understand a young witch wanting to imitate a strange Muggle style.

But in truth, it wasn’t just the hair that puzzled Remus. In addition to sporting the strangest hairstyle in the place, she was also sporting the least happy face in the place – except for his own and that of the assistant shopkeeper. She was walking with another young woman – presumably a good friend – who looked excited, but the blue-haired woman herself looked quite unenthusiastic. Remus would have bet anything that her friend had brought her here unwillingly.

It took Remus only another moment longer to realize that he was staring at her. And he didn’t even know her name. Shaking his head, he lifted his book higher and tried to resume his reading.

He was successful for several minutes. The book was engaging enough to keep his mind on the material for a little while. He was temporarily able to shut out all outside distractions and enter into the world inside the book. Those were his favorite places – the worlds inside books – because none of the problems he faced in reality were in any of those worlds, and if they were, at least they weren’t really happening to him.

But after a little while, the image of the blue-haired young woman crept into his head, and he found himself becoming distracted. Remus tried harder to focus on the story, but he found himself reading the same lines over and over again. And at last, he gave up, and looked back up in the direction of the blue-haired woman.

And he found that she was staring back at him.

Of course, she didn’t do it for long. Almost as soon as their eyes met, she turned her face away. But Remus had not missed it. He had seen her looking back at him. And he had no idea why she would want to. After all, she was here – however unwillingly – to see Gilderoy Lockhart, supposedly the most gorgeous man in the wizarding world. So why she want to look at Remus, who was far from gorgeous in any respect?

So he continued to watch her without realizing what he was doing. This woman was a curiosity to him. He had always prided himself on being a good judge of character – most of the time – but he could not honestly say that he could tell anything about the woman just by looking at her.

After studying her for at least a minute or more, Remus considered going back to his book. There was no use studying something he couldn’t figure out. But just as he was about to move, he saw her slowly turning her head back in his direction. And when her eyes met his, she stopped.

_Oh Merlin, she’s got beautiful eyes_.

That thought surprised Remus more than it should have. He had seen many girls with pretty eyes before. Why, Lily Potter had had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen before. And… well there had to be others, though he couldn’t bring any of their names into his head at the moment.

Remus stood there for a moment, his eyes locked on the eyes of the blue-haired woman. Somewhere in the back of his head, he wondered why she wasn’t looking away – or, more importantly, why he wasn’t looking away. But in the conscious part of his head, there were absolutely no thoughts at all. He was entranced.

Remus’s thoughts returned as a sudden flash of light and puffs of purple smoke burst into his vision. Turning, he saw a man with a camera pushing through the crowd, trying to get to the back, where Lockhart was. Every now and then, he stopped and took another photograph, complete with flashing light and purple smoke.

“Out of the way there,” the photographer was saying as he pushed through a group of red-headed boys. “This is for the _Daily Prophet_.”

It was at that moment that Remus first saw Gilderoy Lockhart. The famous author had heard the photographer and was now standing up to let the photographer take better pictures.

And it was also at that moment, thanks to Gilderoy Lockhart, that Remus saw Harry Potter for the first time in eleven years. And all thoughts of the blue-haired woman were forgotten.

“It can’t be Harry Potter?” Lockhart shouted above the crowd, promptly pulling the boy up to stand beside him. Remus could not get a good look at the boy right away because of all the purple smoke. But as soon as the smoke was clear, he could have sworn he was staring at a young James Potter, only with Lily’s beautiful green eyes.

Remus stood there, speechless and unable to move an inch. He would have liked to have met Harry Potter right then, but he didn’t think that this was a good time. The boy seemed to be struggling enough with standing next to Gilderoy Lockhart. No doubt it would be a bad idea to introduce himself as an old family friend in this environment. _I will meet Harry again one day_ , he told himself, though he was very disappointed that he could not meet the boy now.

Not that he would have had much of a choice in the matter. If the queue had been long and busy before, that was nothing compared to what it was now. Harry Potter may not have won any awards from Witch Weekly, but he was a much larger celebrity than Lockhart would ever be. And the crowd seemed to have figured that out.

With a sigh, Remus admitted to himself that, no matter how hard he tried, he simply wasn’t going to be able to finish reading his book today. He would simply have to come back another time. Disappointed, he returned the book to its place on the shelf and began to make his way out of the shop. (This was no easy task. He had never considered himself to be a clumsy sort, but he had to apologize multiple times for bumping into someone or nearly knocking another someone over.)

He was surprised at how much easier it was to breathe outside the book shop. He had not realized how stuffy the air had become until he stepped out into the sunshine of the lovely summer’s day. He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, savoring the fresh air.

“A bit stuffy in there, wasn’t it?”

Remus wheeled around at the sound of the unfamiliar voice behind him. It belonged, to his surprise, to the woman with the blue hair. She was standing behind him, and she was alone. Her face looked quite a bit more peaceful now that she was outside. And her beautiful dark eyes were shining.

_Stop thinking about that_ , Remus, he told himself. _What do you care that she has beautiful eyes?_ But he couldn’t stop thinking it.

“It was,” he said after a moment, a little more loudly than he had intended.

“It’s much better out here,” said the woman, nodding her head in agreement. “I couldn’t have taken it much longer.”

“Nor I,” said Remus. “It certainly wasn’t the best environment for enjoying a good book.”

“Not at all,” agreed the woman. “I can’t imagine trying to read in there right now.”

“It’s practically impossible.”

“My name’s Tonks, by the way,” said the woman. She extended her hand for Remus to shake.

Remus looked puzzled. “Tonks? That’s an interesting name.”

The blue-haired woman’s smile turned instantly into a frown. “It’s my surname,” she said. “But I don’t go by my given name, so don’t bother asking.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, but Tonks’s look was sharp enough to cut rock, so he didn’t question her further. “Very well then,” he said, taking her hand and shaking it. “My name is Remus Lupin.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Remus,” said Tonks. Her smile returned, and her eyes twinkled again.

“There you are!” called another voice, causing both Remus and Tonks to turn around suddenly. “I’ve been looking for you! Why’d you disappear like that?” It was the friend that Remus had seen Tonks with earlier.

“I’m sorry, Holly, but I couldn’t stand it another minute,” said Tonks. “You can meet Lockhart if you want to, but I’m not going back in there.”

“But they just brought in Harry Potter!” argued the other woman, Holly. “Harry Potter! Two celebrities in one day! How much better does it get?”

“Much,” said Tonks. “Look, I’m not in the mood to meet some bloke who thinks he’s important just because he won five Most-Charming smile awards.”

“Look, Tonks, you promised you’d come with me,” said Holly. “I don’t care if you’d rather stay out here with…” She cut off suddenly, noticing for the first time who was standing with Tonks. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, then she turned back to her friend. “You’re coming back in with me, even if I have to drag you inside,” she went on. And she meant it. She began to pull at Tonks’s robes, ready to drag her friend if necessary.

“Fine, I’ll come, only get off,” said Tonks, pushing Holly’s hands away. She turned back toward Remus. “Maybe I’ll see you again some other time.”

“I hope so,” said Remus.

“Come on, Tonks,” said Holly. “We’ve already lost our spots in the queue.”

“I’m coming,” said Tonks. She began to follow her friend back toward the shop.

But Remus wasn’t going to let her go with asking any questions at all. He only had about a thousand of them, and he had no idea whether he would ever see her again, so without thinking, he burst out, “Wait!”

She turned back toward him. “What?”

A smile strangely reminiscent of the days of the Marauders crept onto Remus’s face. “Why do you have blue hair?” he asked.

And an equally mischievous smile crept onto Tonks’s face, accompanied by eyes that twinkled even more brightly than before. But she said nothing. Instead, she looked quite focused on nothing in particular for a moment. Then, in a moment, her hair was no longer blue, but bright bubble-gum pink. And with another smile, she turned and followed Holly back into the bookshop, leaving a completely stunned Remus Lupin standing in the middle of the street outside Flourish and Blotts.

* * *

Abruptly, Remus realizes that he has stopped walking and is now standing in the middle of a corridor. Yawning, he decides that he is getting a little too tired and should be going home, just like Mad-Eye suggested. But he isn’t going to leave yet, not before checking in one more time on Tonks.

And so he makes his way back to the door to the room where she is staying. Pushing the door open, he finds the room the exact same way it was before. All of its inhabitants are fast asleep on their beds. And in one of those beds lies a brown-haired woman, whose hair Remus thinks should really be blue. Or, better yet, pink.

He sits back down in the chair he left only a few minutes ago and stares at Tonks. He knows that she is only sleeping, but she looks too still for him to truly believe it. It isn’t natural.

Suddenly, he realizes that she is not still anymore. In fact, her eyes are opening, and she is turning her head toward him. She moves her arm very slowly up toward her head to rub her eyes.

“Remus?” she mutters, hardly awake. “’S that you?”

Remus nods. “It’s me. How are you feeling?”

“’M fine,” she says. “Jus’ tired. What about you?”

“I’m a bit tired myself,” he says. “Mad-Eye said I need my sleep.”

“He’s right,” says Tonks.

“But I had to make sure you were all right before I left,” says Remus. “I didn’t expect you to wake up.”

She tries her best to smile at him. “You’re sweet.” She yawned a large yawn, then added, “Glad you waited.”

Remus smiles and takes her hand in his. It feels a bit cold, but he doesn’t care. At least it is there. She looks so much better now that she is awake. She looks alive again.

“So, you will never guess who I saw a few minutes ago,” he says.

“Who?” she asks.

“Gilderoy Lockhart,” says Remus. “He was wandering around without permission.”

Tonks chuckles a bit. “Doesn’t surprise me,” she says. “Always been an idiot.”

“Very true,” says Remus, chuckling along with her. “Do you remember the day he was signing books in Flourish and Blotts?”

Tonks’s smile fades a bit for a moment as she tries to recall that day. But then her face lights up again, and she nods slightly. “How could I forget? I went through torture that day.”

Remus raises an eyebrow. “Torture? Meeting me was torture?”

Tonks looks confused for a moment, then slowly, recognition enters her face. “You and I met that day,” she says quietly. “I’d forgotten.”

“Me too,” says Remus. “I should have remembered, especially after I learned about your morphing abilities.”

“No harm done,” says Tonks. “I should have remembered you, too.”

“Oh?” asks Remus. “And why is that? I didn’t have blue hair that could change into pink in a moment.”

“No,” said Tonks. “But there was something else about you that I liked – that I still like.”

* * *

“Come on, Tonks. It’ll be fun! Maybe we’ll even get his autograph!”

Normally, Tonks would have been all for having a bit of fun, but as she looked at the expression on her friend’s face, she was quite sure she _didn’t_ want to be a part of _this_ fun. But she had agreed to come with Holly Pratchett today, and there was no way she was getting out of that. She liked to think of herself as a woman who kept her word, whether she liked to do it or not.

“How long are we going to stay?” asked Tonks. Though they were some distance away from Flourish and Blotts, she could already see a crowd of people preparing to enter. It wasn’t that she didn’t like crowds – she had always been a very bright and outgoing person – but the crowd was mostly made of up middle-aged women, and that didn’t help her think very highly of this venture.

“Oh, I don’t know, Tonks,” said Holly. “Long enough to meet him, at least. Maybe longer.”

_Not too much longer, I hope_ , thought Tonks. But she didn’t say that out loud to Holly. Holly, like all the middle-aged women, was very, very excited to see Gilderoy Lockhart. She believed that he was as gorgeous as all the magazines made him out to be.

And if she was asked to be completely honest, Tonks would have to admit that Lockhart was rather good looking. There wasn’t a witch alive that could deny it. In fact, it had been by getting Tonks to admit it that Holly had convinced her to come along.

But his good looks didn’t change the fact that Tonks thought his books were awful. Yes, she had read them - all of them except for his autobiography, _Magical Me_. But she didn’t believe a word that she read in his books. Maybe it was just because of her year of Auror training, but she didn’t believe that Lockhart could possibly have done all those things. If he had, why hadn’t he become an Auror? The force could use someone who could do all those kind of things and not trip over anything and everything on the ground.

And she wasn’t the only one who didn’t believe that any of the things in the book were true. Almost every other Auror on the force said that his books were just a bunch of greatly embellished stories. (Mad-Eye had raised an eyebrow when Tonks had first told him about the book signing, then laughed when he realized that she was serious, she was really going.) But since Lockhart wasn’t harmful or dangerous, there was no reason to get him into trouble for his lies. If telling untruthful tales were a crime, the Auror force would be in a mess, for they would have to arrest nearly every reporter working for the papers.

Still, Tonks had no intention to be here any longer than she had to. She had come with Holly, just as she promised, and she would leave as soon as she could, just as she had promised herself.

The door to Flourish and Blotts was very hard to get through today, Tonks noticed, due to all the women pushing to get inside to get a first look at Lockhart. Tonks was willing to wait patiently for an opening, but as soon as one appeared, she was roughly pulled through the door by her friend. Holly was in more of a hurry than Tonks had thought.

“Did you have to wear the blue hair?” Holly asked once they were inside. Or, at least, that’s what Tonks thought Holly had said. It was very difficult to hear anything inside the busy bookshop. But judging by the look Holly was giving her hair, Tonks was relatively sure Holly was talking about it.

“Of course,” said Tonks. “Blue’s a good color.” It was a good color. Better than that dull brown color her mother liked.

Holly was able to keep herself from grimacing, but there was no hiding the fact that she was displeased with Tonks’s hair color choice. But Tonks had no idea why. She and Holly had gone to Hogwarts together, and Holly had always enjoyed all of Tonks’s many hair styles and colors.

“It’s nice, I guess,” said Holly. “But did you have to wear that color today? Couldn’t you have gone blonde, or something? I mean, we’re meeting Gilderoy Lockhart.”

Oh, so that was it. Holly was upset because Tonks wasn’t trying to look her best in front of Lockhart. Either that, or Holly thought Tonks would embarrass her. It was likely to happen anyway, no matter what color hair Tonks wore. That was what feet were for.

“You never know, he might like it,” said Tonks. _Probably would want to write a book about it too_ , she thought. _Then again,_ Meetings with Metamorphmagi _has a nice ring to it_.

Holly did not look convinced about the hair color, but she said no more. Instead, she turned to join the rest of the crowd in looking for a sign of Lockhart. “I wonder when we’ll get to see him,” she said, raising herself up on her toes for a better look.

“Soon enough,” said Tonks. She had not meant it to be a sarcastic comment, but it came out that way anyway.

Holly rolled her eyes. “Tonks, you’re the only one in here who’s not excited to see Lockhart. Well, except for that bloke over there.” She pointed toward the other side of the shop.

Tonks could barely see over the crowd, but she was able to make out the man Holly was talking about. Holly was right; he was probably the only other person in the shop not paying attention to Lockhart. Instead, he was doing what was usually done in a bookshop – looking at a book.

But before Tonks could say anything witty and sarcastic back to Holly, she took a closer look at the man. He was… intriguing, somehow. He had light brown hair, though Tonks thought she could see some gray in it (being able to change the color of her hair made her quite proficient at picking out the colors in someone else’s hair). His robes were old, tattered, and patched, as though he had done repairs on them himself. Honestly, he didn’t look like the sort of fellow that liked books, nor did he look like he could afford the ones in the shop. Yet, he had to be enjoying that book; there was no other way to describe it.

“Anyway, I’d be almost frightened if that bloke was interested in Lockhart. I mean, Lockhart’s gorgeous and all that, but…”

Tonks didn’t really hear Holly’s voice in her ear. She was too busy looking at the man on the other side of the book shop. Perhaps it was just her Auror training beginning to kick in, but there was something unique about the fellow. She just couldn’t put her finger on it.

It was at that moment – the one where Tonks was giving him the most searching and curious look one could possibly give a person – that the man chose to look up and look straight at her.

And that was also when Tonks did what could possibly be called the stupidest thing she could do in the situation – she jerked her head away.

“…five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming Smile Award. Can you believe anyone could win that award so many times in a row? Only he could, I think…”

Tonks pretended to be listening to Holly, but didn’t hear a word. _Idiot_ , she thought to herself. _Why don’t you just go up to him and tell him that you were staring at him? That would be about as obvious as jerking your head away! Idiot!_

But why had he looked directly at her? She knew he had. But no, it had to be a coincidence. He probably hadn’t been staring directly at her. There were countless other witches in the shop at the moment; it could have been any of them.

_But those eyes…_

She shook her head, forcing the thought from her mind. There was no time for that. She had to rectify the situation. And there was only one way to do that. It was one of Mad-Eye’s strategies for undercover work. She had to look at the man again just long enough to let him know she wasn’t afraid of him, then move on casually.

But suddenly that didn’t seem so easy. Tonks decided right then that some of Mad-Eye’s theories about constant vigilance were just like him – mad.

Slowly, and as casually as she could manage, she turned her head back toward the man on the other side of the book shop. He was still looking in her direction. In fact, he was studying her now. Idiot, she thought, but she kept going. She couldn’t turn back now.

But once she had her eyes on him, she couldn’t look away as easily as she wanted to. She had been right. Those eyes were entrancing. There was no way Lockhart’s smile could be called gorgeous, because that was one of the only adjectives Tonks could think of when she looked at this man’s eyes, and there was no comparison between the two.

At least a minute passed before Tonks realized that she was still staring at him. And the only reason she noticed at all was because Holly was suddenly grabbing her arm and shaking it.

“Look, there he is!” she was saying, her voice full of excitement, but hardly audible over the noise in the shop. Several blinding flashes of light, accompanied by purple smoke, accompanied the entrance of a photographer for the _Daily Prophet_. Temporarily forgetting about the man on the other side of the shop, Tonks turned in the direction that her friend was pointing.

It was very difficult to see over the heads of so many people, especially when the flashes of light and smoke kept blocking her view, but Tonks finally was able to catch a glimpse of Gilderoy Lockhart. She had seen pictures of him before, of course, and she came to the conclusion that he looked better in his pictures. His robes were the same color as his eyes, which weren’t at all impressive, and his smile was much too wide to be natural. Though, he did look pleased with himself. There were enough photographs of him about, to be sure. _Idiot thinks he’s something special, does he?_

So she was thoroughly surprised when Lockhart switched his attention to someone other than himself or the photographer. But it didn’t take very long for her to see why.

“It can’t be Harry Potter?” Lockhart shouted above the crowd, and he pulled a young boy forward to stand beside him. A flash of light and some purple smoke blocked Tonks’s view temporarily. But when her view was clear, she could see that, sure enough, Lockhart was standing by none other than Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived.

For the first time, Tonks was impressed. She had grown up knowing the story of the boy who defeated Voldemort, and just like every other witch and wizard, she had always wanted to meet him. Now, Harry Potter was in the same book shop as she was, and not very far away. She had to admit, it was quite an exciting thing.

Or it would be, if she weren’t already feeling quite a bit of dislike toward celebrities at the moment. She knew very well that Harry Potter was very different than Lockhart, in that he had not chosen to become famous, but she couldn’t help not feeling overly excited about seeing more than one celebrity in one place, especially since Lockhart was using simply as a means to achieve even more fame.

Meanwhile, the crowd was blocking her view of either of the celebrities, so Tonks didn’t bother to look for them anymore. Instead, she turned her heart back toward the man with the extremely beautiful blue eyes.

But he was gone.

Tonks wasn’t entirely sure why she almost panicked at the disappearance of the man. After all, she had no idea who he was, and she had no reason to care whether he came or went. But she nearly panicked anyway, until she saw him attempting to make his way through the densely compacted crowd.

Without knowing exactly what she was doing, or why she was doing it, she began to move toward him. She didn’t care that Holly would have her head for leaving her alone in the book shop. She didn’t care that she had promised to meet Lockhart, however terrible it might be. She just followed the man, not knowing why she was doing it.

When she finally reached the door of the book shop and stepped out into the fresh air, relief filled her. It was so much easier to breathe out here. There were plenty of people milling through the streets, but not nearly as many as were inside the tiny book shop. And the man was standing in the middle of the street, his back toward her. He seemed to be enjoying the fresh air as much as Tonks was.

Suddenly, Tonks realized that she was being exceptionally pathetic. She had no idea who the man was, and yet she had followed him all the way out here simply because he had disappeared from her sight. _Snap out of it, Tonks. Pull yourself together._

But there was something about the man that had intrigued her, and Tonks – being a curious woman by nature – wanted to know more about him. Though this is hardly the way to do it, she thought. ‘Hello, my name’s Tonks, and I’ve been staring at you and following you. So tell me more about yourself?’ Yes, that would go over well.

But now that she was out here, she couldn’t very well go back in without saying anything. Other people might have been able to slip away and avoid being noticed, but not Tonks. _I’d probably trip on the way in, and he’d see me anyway._ So instead, she took a deep breath, then asked him a question.

“A bit stuffy in there, wasn’t it?” she asked. It was a simple enough question. She was just making conversation. But at the sound of her voice, he spun around rather quickly. He, of course, didn’t recognize her voice, and the reaction was to be expected.

_Oh Merlin, his eyes are gorgeous_ , Tonks thought. _Absolutely gorgeous._

“It was,” said the man in a loud voice. It was a little hoarse as well, she noticed, as though it had not been used in some time.

“It’s much better out here,” said Tonks. “I couldn’t have taken it much longer.” _Though not just the air_ , she thought. _Mostly the idiot who calls himself an author._ But she didn’t say that out loud.

“Nor I,” the man agreed. “It certainly wasn’t the best environment for enjoying a good book.”

Tonks smiled. Now that she thought about it, the man must have been trying very hard to read, for a while anyway. Though, she didn’t consider his study of her to be trying hard to read.

“Not at all,” she answered. “I can’t imagine trying to read in there right now.” Who could read anything with so many people about?

“It’s practically impossible,” said the man.

Tonks nodded. Then, she decided that it was time to be polite for once and introduce herself. “My name’s Tonks, by the way,” she told him, holding out her hand to shake his. She made sure not to mention her given name, and she prayed he wouldn’t notice.

But that was not about to happen, as was evidenced by the look on his face. “Tonks? That’s an interesting name.”

Tonks frowned at him. Why couldn’t people accept the name they were told without asking questions about it? It was extremely frustrating. “It’s my surname,” she told him. “But I don’t go by my given name, so don’t bother asking.” _Oh, and_ that _will keep him from asking questions. Very nice addition there, Tonks, very nice, indeed._

The man raised an eyebrow at her, but she glared at him. _Don’t you dare say anything about it_ , she thought, almost wishing that he could understand her thoughts right about that time. But he said nothing further about it. “Very well then,” he said, and he shook her hand. “My name is Remus Lupin.”

Relieved, she let herself smile again. He didn’t seem to be too worried about learning that name. _And he won’t ever learn it_ , she told herself. _Not if I can help it._ “Pleasure to meet you, Remus,” she said.

“There you are!”

Tonks wheeled around, and was surprised to see Holly hurrying out of the book shop. “I’ve been looking for you!” Holly called. She looked worried and exasperated. “Why’d you disappear like that?”

_Because I had to follow the bloke with the gorgeous eyes._ “I’m sorry, Holly, but I couldn’t stand it another minute,” said Tonks. _And neither could the man with the gorgeous eyes._ “You can meet Lockhart if you want to, but I’m not going back in there.” _I’d much prefer to stay out here and talk to Remus, thank you._

“But they just brought in Harry Potter!” Holly tried to argue, apparently thinking that Harry Potter had come for the sole purpose of attracting more guests to see Lockhart. “Harry Potter! Two celebrities in one day! How much better does it get?”

“Much,” said Tonks, more sourly than she had expected herself to sound. “Look, I’m not in the mood to meet some bloke who thinks he’s important just because he won five Most-Charming smile awards.” That was the truth, but that wasn’t the only reason she didn’t care about going back in to meet Lockhart.

“Look, Tonks, you promised you’d come with me,” said Holly. “I don’t care if you’d rather stay out here with…” Tonks watched as Holly noticed Remus for the first time. Holly’s eyes widened as she recognized the man that she had pointed to earlier. And, just as Tonks expected, she immediately stopped trying to work him into the conversation. “You’re coming back in with me, even if I have to drag you inside.” And she began to pull at Tonks’s robes.

Tonks immediately pushed Holly’s hands away. “Fine, I’ll come, only get off,” she said. She had promised, and a promise was a promise, no matter how tormenting it was to the one who had made it.

She turned back to Remus, trying to look as apologetic as she could for having to rush off like this. _Those eyes…_ “Maybe I’ll see you again some other time.” Oh please, sweet Merlin, let me see him again some time.

“I hope so,” said Remus, smiling a little. He had a gorgeous smile too. _Oh stop thinking like that, Tonks. Pull yourself together._

“Come on, Tonks,” said Holly, jerking Tonks back to reality. “We’ve already lost our spots in the queue.”

“I’m coming,” said Tonks. It took a great deal of effort to pull her eyes from Remus, but she reluctantly did so and began to follow Holly back toward the shop. _Here we go_ , she thought. _Back to see the most supposedly attractive idiot in the world._

“Wait.”

Tonks stopped immediately at the sound of Remus’s voice behind her. She turned around and looked at him again. “What?” she asked.

She was surprised and slightly amused as the most mischievous smile she had ever seen crept onto his face. “Why do you have blue hair?” he asked.

She could have burst out laughing right then, but instead, she responded to his mischievous smile with a mischievous (and slightly flirty) smile of her own. Then, instead of explaining, she scrunched up her face a bit and turned her hair a shade of bubble-gum pink. And with another smile at the look on his face, she turned around and followed Holly back inside.

And Tonks decided right then that she couldn’t wait until she could see Remus Lupin again.

* * *

“I’m only sorry I made you wait three years before we met again,” says Remus after Tonks finishes telling him what she remembers of that day. “We could have been friends long before this if we had remembered to keep in touch.”

Tonks nods. “Nothing we can do about it, though. At least we’re friends now.”

Remus smiles. “Of course.” He says nothing further, though he knows that she must be thinking the same thing as he is.

The truth is that Remus and Tonks have been dating since last summer. But neither one of them has said the words “I love you” to the other. Remus still feels completely insecure about admitting any such thing to Tonks, though he is very sure that that is how he feels. He has no idea what she would say to it. And besides, he knows that this relationship cannot last forever. After all, he is a werewolf, and no woman as wonderful as Tonks should be bound to a creature like him.

But that hasn’t stopped Tonks from loving him, it seems. He cannot seem to come up with any excuse as to why they should stop seeing each other that will convince Tonks of anything, not even – and especially not – his werewolf excuse. Every time he mentions it, she gets upset with him. Though he does not think he can ever stop trying. As long as he is with Tonks, she is in danger. It is as simple as that.

For a minute or two, they do not say anything. Tonks looks off into the distance, while Remus watches her, as though waiting for something.

“What are you thinking?” he asks her finally.

She turns her head back toward him. “About Lockhart,” she says.

“Oh?” asks Remus, genuinely curious.

Tonks attempts to lift herself up onto her elbows, but fails, and sinks back down onto her pillow. “I was thinking about the change that happened in the last three years, you know? I mean, d’you remember how famous and popular Lockhart was back then?”

“Of course I do,” says Remus. “I could hardly breathe in the shop that day.”

“Yeah,” says Tonks, chuckling. “But now look at him. Nobody knows or cares who he is anymore. I mean, he was awful back then. What sort of person does memory charms on people to take credit for what others did?”

“One with very little moral integrity,” says Remus.

Tonks nods. “Yeah. But it’s so sad, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” agrees Remus. “It is.”

“Anyway,” says Tonks. “I was also thinking about what’s happened to us in the last three years. I mean, you got a job as a professor at Hogwarts, then had to leave because you’re too much of an honorable, noble git to do otherwise.”

“I beg your pardon,” says Remus, frowning at her. “A git, am I?”

“You are,” Tonks says simply. “But an honorable, noble one.”

“Well that helps, doesn’t it?” says Remus.

“’Course,” says Tonks. “But anyway, then there’s all this business with the Order and Voldemort and Death Eaters and such. And I’m an Auror now, not just a trainee. And Harry’s grown up a lot since then, hasn’t he? And so much else has changed too.”

“You’re right,” says Remus. “It has. But what does Lockhart have to do with any of it.”

“Not a lot,” says Tonks. “But it’s interesting, isn’t it? The famous one that day ends up ruining his life, while those of us who didn’t care to see him ended up with so many good things. Almost doesn’t seem fair.”

“Maybe not,” says Remus. “But there’s nothing we can do to change what happened to Lockhart. Like you said, he was an idiot, and this sort of thing is what can happen to idiots. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“I know,” says Tonks. “It just doesn’t seem fair, that’s all.”

Remus gives her a small mischievous smile – the best he can do with the vast amount of sleep he is currently lacking. “Now who’s being the honorable and noble one?” he asks. His words are immediately followed by a sudden burst of energy in the form of Tonks’s elbow in his side.

“Look, Tonks, we’re just very lucky to be where we are,” says Remus. “Don’t you agree? We may not have the best situations in the world, but at least we’re here together.”

Tonks looks around the room, then looks back at Remus. “I suppose you’re right,” she agrees. “We are pretty lucky, aren’t we?”

“Very lucky,” says Remus.

They are silent again for a minute, staring at each other. Neither one moves.

“Remus?”

“Yes, Tonks?”

“I love you.”


End file.
